I was having lunch with a very good male friend of mine who’s single, good-looking, had a few serious ladies, but hasn’t found that one yet. And I found myself trying to describe to him what it’s like being married and encouraging him to take his time, to not jump into anything; I was trying to explain to him why I didn’t want him to rush and what marriage feels like. I, who love weddings, who love marriage and love my husband, was trying to prevent my friend (who is 5 years older than me) from rushing into things by letting him know what the sentiment of marriage means. That’s when I said it.
“Marriage, is like dating … forever. And you can’t break up.”
Profound, huh? And of course it’s a lot more, but if you break it down, it is just that. People think they settle into marriage, but that is not setting you up for a bright future. Yes, you become much more comfortable together, but the key to marriage, is staying active and keeping it alive as though you are dating … the same person … forever. It’s work. You still have to bring home flowers (as I stare at sunflowers on my desk from the hub) and dress up for one another and flirt, ahem, with each other, and be excited to be together.
So if you find yourself worn down in your relationship or like you’ve hit a wall and feel like getting married so you can take the pressure off, then you have some reevaluating to do. Trust me, call it quits now while you can and all you have to do is pack up some boxes and move out. Sounds like a pain in the butt, but it’s much easier than wasting the next few years or your (and their!) life to only find out it wasn’t meant to be all along. Yes, you’re right, you can still “break up” and get a divorce, but you should go into marriage not even knowing that’s an option.
If you treat marriage like dating forever, you will keep the spark alive. With all the hard stuff ahead like family and financials, you want to at least make sure the romance is still there, or you’re in for a big surprise down the road.